Supporting tools for my FOUR fulltime relationships.

Yes, You have read correctly, I am in FOUR full-time relationships.

  • Myself, which includes all things in wellbeing for my tinana (body) wairua (spirit) Hinengarau (mind) Arohanui (self-love)

  • My Love of my life, my husband and friend. For the record I acknowledge that the love of my life is more than mine and more than the above roles. In the purposes of this writing I have slotted him into these descriptions!

  • My adult children and partners

  • My career

After years of experiences in each of these relationships in feeling ups and downs. Feelings of burnouts, restlessness, exhaustion, “running out of time” “shame'“ “guilt” and more. I have added this formula to create space and presence in each of my relationships.

Please feel absolutely welcomed to ADD to your practice if you like dear community.

My example formula is with my career relationship.

Every two weeks I have a day with my career

I plan a day every fortnight to be in my administration & creative space for my career. As a ceremonialist and civil celebrant I have alot of scripts for ceremonies and administration. This day allows me to have an overview of my business writings and ensure I am on schedule for my upcoming events.

I plan the day with my family to have the space secured. I knockout my house work and meals or ask for help during the week before the day. I plan my teas and my foods for the day. And then I go to bed early the night before ready for my in my career date day.

Every two months I have a weekender or two consecutive days with my career

This requires some planning & I schedule this in early! I look ahead at least three months to see what offerings are happening in business workshops locally or online. Or, I may have a creative career project I want to refine.

I lock in these weekends or two consecutive days early so that I do not book ceremonies on those dates. I then work around these set dates for ceremonies or other life plans.

Early in my career I felt guilty that I was taking this time away from my family and my love. In time I and we felt the benefits of this planned time. Having the devoted time in my career grounded me in all my other relationships. Instead of running around in circles trying to make up time everywhere for everything, I am able to be where I am. Present.

Every 12 months I have a week in my career

This, I only really got the hang of these past 5 years. Having a whole week in career was like “Holy Moly” can I? Am I allowed? And the carry on process within myself was…. well a real carry on! Financially was I allowed and able? Time wise, was it actually doable? And the classic… “Who do I think I am!” What would I even do for a week in my career?

As with the weekend away, it was all the same planning just on a longer scale of setups. Was the family going to be ok? What foods, meals, finance was needed whilst I am away? What do I need to let go of and not micromanage? Do I need to get a cleaner in the day before I come back home because Im particular! My goodness the list went on and on. Especially the first time I planned to go away for my career. Now these years I am rolling out for my week away like a seasoned professional!

Tips for my week retreat in my career.

  • Look at a getaway retreat that combines training and a planned itinerary

  • Pay off your getaway in small & consistent instalments

  • Research what career workshops or retreats your business mentors attend or facilitate

  • Delegate & receive offered support for the running of your household whilst you are away

  • The leadup month to your week away, have your administration tidied up (which will be your focus on the previous “day & weekend you have planned in your career) And then have your emails on “out of office” message

Planning is the Key

I must say, its a whole lot easier to be present in my relationships when there are planned setups to spend time together. I feel more grounded and available. Having made time values each of my relationships and gives me something to look forwards to.

Be the lighthouse not the torch

Taking charge of where I share my time has enabled me to have more healthy boundaries, more creative energy, more confidence in the flow of daily happenings and supported.

May these little wisdoms bring you more support and do let me know in comments should you have some questions or wisdoms to share also!

See here for more hui soon!

Ngahuia

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